@jonINV,
Here's the way it should work. The rules of max file size, who is charged quota, etc. depend on who owns the folder. So, if I invite you to a folder in a personal Box account the folder will have a restriction of max 250MB files even if your account has a 5GB max file size limit. Conversely, if you invite me to a folder, my interactions will be based on your account's settings. That means I can have those two folders side-by-side in my All Files view and one will have one set of rules and the other will have the other.
If this is not the case for the behavior you are seeing you might want to contact Box Support for them to troubleshoot.
HTH,
Bob
Indiana University
University Information Technology Services
2709 E. Tenth Street Bloomington, IN 47408